I recently learned that I have stage IV cancer.
A month ago a surgeon removed my thyroid and over forty lymph nodes. Radiation treatment should begin in a few days. Then a week of isolation until the radioactive iodine leaves my system. Then the waiting begins …
Not something I would have chosen on my own, but now that I’m on the journey, I wouldn’t change it if I could.
Why? Because cancer, like all suffering, is all about relationship … and relationship is more precious than good health.
Cancer has made me more God-aware
It has drawn me deeper into Scripture and motivated me to re-answer life-altering questions like these:
Do I believe that God lovingly and wisely controls the smallest details of my life, including the condition of the very cells of my body? Yes, I do. (Psalm 139:13-15; Matt. 10:29-31)
Do I trust that he will eventually work all things for his glory and my good, even if there are some difficult challenges along the way? Yes. (Rom. 8:28; John 11:4; 2Cor. 4:17).
Do I believe that God’s love for me stands firm and unshakeable, even though the world—and someday my body—will inevitably pass away? Yes. (Heb. 12:27-28)
Do I believe that the death and resurrection of Jesus has paid for and washed away all of my sins, and that whenever I leave this world and stand before God, he will look at me as his beloved child, blameless, holy and above reproach. Yes, praise be to God! (Col. 1:19-22; Col. 3:12).
Do I believe that I can candidly express my apprehensions to God without fear of disappointing him? Yes. (Ps. 28:1-2; 1Pet. 5:7)
Do I believe that he can heal me, either miraculously or through gifted physicians, and that he welcomes my prayers to that end, but that he may instead decide, in his perfect love and wisdom, to use illness to refine me and display his glory through me? Yes, more than ever before. (John 15:1-2; John 15:8; John 21:19)
Do I believe that to live is Christ and to die is gain, and that he has prepared a place for me in heaven. Yes, I do! (Phil. 1:19-23; John 14:1-3)
As I’ve meditated on these and hundreds of similar Scriptures, God has drawn me deeper into his arms, strengthened my confidence in his love and wisdom, and grounded my hope more firmly in him. These are blessings that far exceed the inconvenience of cancer.
Cancer has helped me to be more self-aware
It has exposed the fact that I’ve taken pride in my good health, as if it were something I had secured for myself, and that I’ve presumptuously assumed I would always enjoy it. This has compelled me to shift my reliance to God alone for my life, breath, and well-being (2Cor. 1:9).
It has sobered me and reminded me that my days are numbered … and not one of them should be wasted on worldly desires, petty ambitions, or anxious thoughts (Psalm 139:16; Matt. 6:27-33).
It has inspired me to wage greater war against the most corrupting cancer in my life—sin—and to seek God’s grace to fight more earnestly against pride, self-sufficiency, envy, self-pity, bitterness, unforgiveness, and every other attitude and habit that undermines my ability to know, love, and serve him (Heb. 12:1; 2Cor. 7:1; Eph. 4:22-24; James 4:8).
It has moved me to be more diligent in nurturing the body God has given me and to strengthen the immunity systems he’s give me by maintaining an even healthier diet, exercising more consistently, and making more time for rest (1Cor. 6:19).
It has challenged me to let go of my past failures and disappointments and to press on with a renewed commitment to love God and make his love known (Phil. 3:13-14).
It has motivated me to re-examine my priorities and shift my time and energy more fully to those things that will bless others and advance God’s kingdom (1Cor. 3:12-15; Matt. 25:14-30).
Cancer has made me more other-aware
It has moved me to treasure my dear wife, Corlette, more deeply, who made the appointment for my annual checkup in the first place and has gladly shifted even more of her life to serving and caring for me (1Thess. 1:2-3).
It has made me more aware of how precious my children are to me and how little time I have to pass on to them a legacy of love for God, a sure confidence in the gospel, and a reverence for his Word (Deut. 6:6-7).
It has given me great joy to be the object of my three-year-old grandson’s compassion, as he’s repeatedly kissed my hand to “fix me†and crawled into my bed to read books to me. What a joy to see a child growing in empathy at such a young age.
It has made me more aware of and thankful for my friends, who have surrounded me with their prayers, encouraged me with their notes of encouragement, and stepped in to cover teaching commitments and household chores I could not handle (2Cor. 1:11).
It has made me more aware of the suffering of others and more sensitive to opportunities to comfort those who are sick, lonely, or discouraged (2Cor. 1:3-4).
It has given me many opportunities to use the SERVE principle to express my thankfulness for the many people who serve in the medical community, for the talents God has bestowed on them, for their gracious and sacrificial care—like my surgeon, who gave up his day off to go after my cancer.
It has given me a greater sense of urgency to share the gospel with those who do not yet know Christ, so that when the cancer of death overwhelms them, they can experience the ultimate victory—forgiveness of sin and everlasting life with God (1Cor. 15:51-57).
As I said earlier …
I would not have chosen this road on my own, but now that my feet are on it, I am overwhelmed by the way God is using it to deepen and enrich all of my relationships.
To paraphrase Samuel Johnson, “The prospect of dying focuses the mind wonderfully.†And when Jesus himself is at the center of that focus, we can truly say, “It is well with my soul!â€
– Ken Sande
For a subsequent medical report and additional insights on facing illness, see An Illness Not Unto Death
Reflection Questions
- Are you healthy today? If so, how can your good health distract you from living fully for God? How could you live out the concepts above even when your body is strong?
- Are you struggling with illness or other suffering? If so, which of the Scriptures listed above are most relevant and encouraging to you? How can you live them out today?
- Do you want to turn cancer or another serious illness into a time of growth and blessing? This insightful article by John Piper and David Powlison can help you make sure you Don’t Waste Your Cancer.
Permission to distribute: Please feel free to download, print, or electronically share this message in its entirety for non-commercial purposes with as many people as you like.
© 2014 Ken Sande
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